I need a Teen Shower!

When I had my first baby, I was given several baby showers- one from work, one from my friends, another from my mom’s friends and it was so amazing.  We were literally showered with gifts that would help us survive as new parents.  I mean when you are a new parent, you are so unsure of what your little one will really need so to have all the friends and family buy things for the baby was just so awesome.  Although we didn’t appreciate it at that time, the baby shower was also a chance for more seasoned moms to pass down their wisdom to you…..make sure to co-sleep (or don’t), make sure your baby soothes herself to sleep (or not), make sure you have a set schedule (or don’t if that isn’t your style), make sure they get tummy time and socialize, they need to eat solid foods at 3 months and on and on the list goes.  Everyone had their experience and they were happy and excited to reminisce and share it. At the time, I thought I knew it all so I don’t think I fully appreciated all this wisdom (ummm….I did not at all).  However, I do remember going to friends’ baby showers later on and being MUCH more open to advice and listening closely to all the different advice from the different moms.  I was eager to learn, to figure it out and at this point realized I didn’t know it all (or anything close) and that children were hard and that they kept changing so what worked one day or week might not work in the next stage and so you needed lots of ideas and options.  I have to say as amazing as these baby gifts were (so many precious clothes!!), it was the gifts from the seasoned mom that were really the best- these maybe didn’t elicit quite as many ooohs and ahhhhs at your showers as all those little newborn outfits-but these gifts carried something far more valuable- EXPERIENCE. Of course, at the time, you don’t realize it is the best gift…..it is only at 3 am and your baby has a fever and you reach for the baby Tylenol that seemed so boring and every day to a pregnant mom that you realize what a life saver this gift truly was.  The butt paste that was so funny at the shower is now a life saver because your poor baby is screaming due to diaper rash and you think maybe this will work and of course it does.  These seasoned mom gifts made a huge difference to us as new parents! We had exactly what we needed ready and waiting for us in those moments that they knew were coming. 

There is so much love for new parents, so much support and cheering them on as they enter that first stage of parenting. However, I have now entered a new stage ….one that isn’t celebrated as much but I think it should be~ The TEENAGE years. I think it is time to start a new tradition. When a child turns 12, there needs to be another showering…..this one for the parents of the teenager.  There will be a showering of tools, a telling of stories and a show of support for the parents who thought they had it all figured out but their sweet child turned 12 and they are starting to realize they may not. These tools would include basics like how to teach your teen to drive (and survive!!), how to decipher the daily eye rolling, the apps you need to keep them safe online, how to navigate relationships ….and the list goes on and on.  We need to fill these parents with lots of love, patience and boost their confidence for the years that lay ahead because these years may not be as physically demanding as those first few years with a new baby….but they are just as challenging and just as foreign. These parents need a coming together of their clan, their friends, the seasoned parents and they need to be showered with all the ADVICE of how to survive these years.  Just like before they are going to need advice on sleep (more of how to get my teen to actually sleep and then once they do- how do I get them out of bed!!), is there an eating schedule with teens (constant seems to be ours!), when do they get a cell phone, social media and how to prepare them to be the type of humans you want to spend time with later.  How do you do all this? I am in desperate need of advice from seasoned moms who can relate to what I am going through and who know what I will need because they have already “been there, done that!”. I need to hear from those who have survived and can offer some advice and unlike those baby years where I thought I had it figured out- I now know I DON’T HAVE A CLUE!! I will be eagerly listening and writing it all down because this time I know how much I don’t know!  I am ready for my shower! I am ready to learn, to listen, to copy ideas and to be showered with all the knowledge and tools that these seasoned moms have.  So all you seasoned mamas- please share those experiences raising teens- the good, the bad and the ugly because we need to know we aren’t alone in this roller coaster journey.  We need to know we aren’t the only ones who have gone through these things and that we too will survive and come out on the other side and get to share our experiences at least until the Teen Shower is a real thing!  

-Melissa Rouswell

Co-Founder, Women’s Council of Entrepreneurs

Team Leader, Traveling Vineyard